Worth The Wait
Waiting is hard...really, really hard.
I don't think I have ever really walked the trenches of waiting until these last few months. And when I say trenches, I mean those moments when you find yourself on your knees questioning your life's purpose, your life's plan, and your life's prosperity.
Okay, maybe I am being a little bit too dramatic. But let's be honest, having to wait and "practice patience" for a really long time can be awfully frustrating. Whether it is waiting for a much needed change, a new and improved job, a project to come through, an unanswered prayer, or that special someone, it can be a grueling experience (*insert super overdramatic emoji). You can often feel like Mr. Nevergoingtohappen, or even better, Miss. Whymeeee. And I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. To those of you who find yourself in a similar situation of waiting, I am writing this to simply relate with you. I understand. It isn't fun. And while I may not have all the answers to what you're looking for, I do have some thoughts that might help.
First, patience is a process. A process? Yes, being patient doesn't mean you just wait and twiddle your thumbs until something comes your way. Instead, it is that you are actively taking steps that will in time point you in the right direction. See, a process means a series of actions taken in order to achieve an end. The word invites the idea that there are actions involved in getting to a desired goal...or more plainly speaking, to whatever it is you're waiting for. This idea of patience requiring a process was foreign to me, and only introduced itself in the last few days of whats been months and months of waiting. To understand it better, the process of patience can be viewed like a staircase. Each step you take moves you upward, to your intended goal. It can feel tiring and often repetitive, but whether you know it or not, you're making ground. In the same way, every prayer and effort you've put into a dream or desire is like another step you are taking. Your prayers and efforts are not going unanswered, but are actually needed in order to get you closer and closer to where you are meant to be. Like arriving to the top of a staircase, one day you will look back at all your steps, and all your prayers...thankful that you kept going.
Secondly, patience is to listen. Yes, LISTEN. When we are waiting for something, we can often feel like we're scrambling for words and reasons as to why it is we are having to wait. We start to complain about our situation (even though we might have every right to feel this way). Why have I not received an answer yet? Why have I not met that special someone? Why have I not gotten what I deserve? The scrambling can go on and on. And if we weren't fooling ourselves, we'd be scrambling about everything until our brains fell out. From our perspective, having a reason behind the season is understandable. It makes sense. But have we ever stopped to consider pressing pause on the scrambling, and instead listen to those around us...maybe even to the One above us? Allowing these voices to speak into our lives may be exactly what we need to hear. In fact, I have learned the insight and encouragement I receive from others makes the waiting process a whole lot easier.
And lastly, patience is to surrender. The process of waiting includes the act of surrender. Whoaaa, what does it mean to surrender? Well, how I see it, as much as I want my life to roll on my own terms, I have come to learn the beauty of surrendering my ways for higher ways. See, when I hand over to God the things that I've been so desperately wanting, I am immediately freed from the stress of having to wait. I know that God will take care of all my deepest desires, on His own terms and in His own way (which, more often than not, is way different then what we ever expected). I am putting His perfect timing over mine, and trust that He will answer in whatever way is best for me. And by all means, this act of surrender isn't easy, or so complete. It is an everyday proclamation that I must make for myself in order to move on through the waiting.
Alrighty, that was whole lot of talk about waiting. Obviously, it is THE topic of my life right now. But even though I may be in this joyous (*notice the sarcasm) season, I have learned things that I wouldn't have learned if I had not been here. So YES it sucks, and YES it feels pointless, but DO continue to be patient. As your #1 writer fan, I am rooting you on as you embark your staircase. Keep prayer those big prayers, keep putting one step in front of the other, and I promise...
it will all be worth the wait.
P.S. For those wondering, there IS a book in the making that may or may not have inspired parts of this post. Sometimes even your writing requires a bit of patience
Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting, He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope, as your triumph unfolds
He's never failing, He's never failing
Take Courage, Kristene Di Marco (Bethel Music)